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John's waiver was submitted, but we spoke to the recruiter yesterday about getting less specific documentation to ensure it will go through. She also said it will be "highly likely" that he will get the 64W MOS. Combat Medic. He really wanted to do x-ray, but she said it isn't likely with his prior service status. He is sort of disappointed about that, but other than that, things are looking pretty good for him right now. I am starting to adapt to the idea, but I am still having episodes where I am worried and very, very sad. We are starting to plan our lives around the idea that he will be active duty before long. The good thing is that 68W will be a significantly longer AIT than just infantry. This will be six weeks and 6 months, back to back.Much, much better than just a few weeks. It will give me a better chance to adapt to the lifestyle a little bit. And get used to him being away, though I do not expect it to be the same as it would be if he were in a combat zone for a year.

Code Moron

Losing Steam?

Lately John has been more and more difficult to motivate. No PT. Or very rarely. For the most part he sits on the sofa, watching movies. He is pretty much eating whatever he wants, and this worries me. I am by no means a shining example of physical fitness or proper nutrition for weight loss. But I am also not the one aiming for reentry to the military. I am afraid. I am afriad that he will e shipped to Iraq or Afghanistan, into a combat situation, and will not have the physical bearing to be able to keep up. He has gained a portion of the weight back that he had initially lost. I'm not quite sure how to get him motivated. Quite honestly, I should not have to. He should be doing this on his own.

Stop-Loss

With my husband pursuing entering the Army, we wanted to see this film. I didn't originally think this vey prudent. I am prone to tears as of late, and visual imagery of patriotism and/or war seem to compound this. The day is rapidly approaching when I will no longer be just an observer. This will ultimately impact my life grossly. Unable to obtain a babysitter, we watched the film online (is it illegal to watch or just to upload???) Just John and I cuddled up with the laptop. I must say the film would most definitely be enjoyable for someone not potentially affected by the actual policy. It was enjoyable if I detached myself from the current circumstances of my life. I cried a little, especially at the imagery of a military funeral. But is it because of the moving moment of the film, or just simply that military funerals have always done this to me, long before I married a veteran or that same veteran I married decided he wanted to reenlist? And okay, I must admit, the guys in the film were HOT. You got me there! But I have to say it: Stop-Loss pissed me off. At the risk of not sounding politically correct or in-tune with our men and women in uniform, I am sticking with that statement. It seems tawdry to go to a theater on a date and buy your popcorn and Sno-Caps and sit and watch the plight of our troops on the big screen like it is there for our amusement, first of all. Yet recently watching Lions for Lambs on dvd did not have this effect on me. It may be because L for L prompted healthy discussion and political debate here in my house. I felt bad that I had this reaction to Stop-loss, so I started doing some internet research on the policy. I was sort of hoping to find some obscure fact about the practice that I had not before become aware. I didn't. I believe that the film did bring some things to light that desperately needed to be. Primarily the PTSD that is plaguing our men as they return from war. And that stop loss is real. But in the film, all of the men returning are suffering from it. I know the statistics of PTSD are staggering, but not all-encompassing. And is the reaction of the average Soldier returning from Iraq to go AWOL??? The film made this look so easy. You just find someone to help you with fake IDs and cross a border. When the main character was standing at the Mexican border, I was hoping he did not cross it. Of course the film didn't load correctlly on the computer, and it stopped at this point, so I originally didn't get to see the real ending and was really pissed off. I just thought that would portray these men as cowardly, and send the wrong message to the troops. So what is my reaction to the actual practice of Stop-Loss? Yes, it sucks. But almost everyone realizes when you sign a contract to serve, you are actually committing to several years after your active service ends known as Inactive Ready Reserves. John was IRR when the war in Iraq started. During this time, you can be called back to active service. Its just a part of military service. Would it really be better to reach the end of an active service term and return to civilian life only to be called back again? Yet there isn't any controversy over troops being recalled to active duty from IRR. This leads me to a familiar topic: Read that contract you sign, people! You cannot expect to recieve money for college, pay, medical benefits, reenlistment/ enlistment bonuses, room and board, etc, without catches and loopholes. If you can live with the loopholes, like John can, sign the papers. If not, walk away. I read in an article while doing some online reading on the issue the following quote: "....In the event of war, my enlistment in the Armed Forces continues until sixth month after the war ends, unless my enlistment is ended sooner by the President of the United States..." Well, doesn't that about sum it up? We are in war. Two of them simultaneously, to be exact. If you signed the papers, you signed the papers. I'm sorry for them and their families. My family will be among them soon. But we are doing so with the knowledge that this could very well happen to John. Two National Guardsmen sued over this, and it was shot down. They said their recruiters deceived them by not telling them about stop-loss. I did not know a recruiter was responsible for knowing every tiny detail about everything related to the military. That is why the contract is printed. They should have read it more carefully. I am glad a judge shot their claim down. We are at war. We need troops, and the Army is under-performing in the task of getting new bodies to enlist. Its either stop-loss or a draft in order to keep the man-power needed to do the job. At least stop-loss is utilizing troops who are already committed and volunteered.

4,039

http://icasualties.org/oif/

When I tell people of my husband's intention to reenlist recently, I have heard comments of such ridiculous nature about how things are safe now. In no way is Operation Iraqi Freedom "safe". There are now 4,039 American families who will never be the same because of this war. Please do not get me wrong: this is not an anti-war statement. I won't even speak on that subject, and you can take from this what you wil. Where does my concern rest? That these are my American brothers and sisters over there fighting this war. Whether we should be over there or not does not change this fact in my mind. These families affected are like mine in that at one point, their loved one said "I am going to risk my life to defend this country". They send their loved one off to war, assuming he or she will return many months later. As I write this, and I anticipate what it will be like to watch John leave, I also in some part of my brain envision what his homecoming will be like. These families were robbed of that by some guerilla with the notion he is defending all that is holy. I hope they find peace with all they lost. I, as a civilian, am so grateful for that sacrifice. I cannot find the words for more eloquent a statement. There are none.

Idiots are Everywhere!

Have I ever mentioned how appalled I am by stupidity? Tonight, John and I were watchibng some documentary on the War, and my heart was breaking for these guys who were telling their stories about how they were treated like heroes for their service, when inside they felt like monsters. I am worried about John going off to war, and that fear is based on the physical danger he will face. But underneath that fear is the fear that my husband will come back as somebody different, that he will be in emotional pieces that may not fit together so well after all is said and done.

So anyhow... We are watching this show, and these guys are telling these heart-wrenching accounts of what happened and the horrors of war, then they cut to this dumb kid who told about how he was promised that, if he joined the National Guard, he would stay stateside. Excuse me? Huh? We are at WAR, son! Do these people not realize that a recruiter's prime job is to sign up fresh meat? Did he not realize that he was signing up for the ARMY National Guard? Anyone with any lick of sense would see through the promise. Was it in a contract? I bet not.

Then there was this chick, crying about how she signed up for college monies. She never dreamed she would be sent to war. Heaven forbid she had to actually EARN the money for college. Did she really believe that she would be handed an education for nothing in return? Did her mother, unlike my mother, not teach her that nothing in life is free? That you don't get something for nothing? She was probably better suited to a scholarship program or federal student aid. After all, if you want college money, they will give you that, and you do not have to ship off or withstand gunfire to do it.

Then, there was this overall feeling of disdain for the military, about how they train "killers". They focused a lot on Marine Corps boot camp. Cut to a young recruit taking a bayonet to a dummy, chanting "KILL!" with each jab. How violent! How brutal! The veterans were talking about how they were trained to kill, to stare the enemy down and simply react, like a machine. They were complaining, and the whole time, I was thinking "Do you not realize that the training you received is probably why you are able to complain about it to a camera?" You signed up for the ARMED Forces of the U.S. Did you think you were going to go over there and hand out pamphlets? One has to wonder what the hell these kids were thinking they were getting into. When, not if, my husband goes over there, I actually want him to be a "killing machine", as they put it. This means he is likely to come back intact, physically and emotionally. He will be better able to do the job asked of him. And yes, it sucks that women and children get caught in the crossfire. They were telling about how a woman was approaching a humvee, and they had weapons drawn, telling her to stop, and waving emphatically. She didn't stop, and they had to shoot her. Afterwards, on her person, they found a white flag. Sad, but sorry to say, she was stupid. These men are in a place where the people who are the biggest threat blend in with the civilians. They could have a bomb rigged to themselves and all they have to do to take out many of our men is get near enough that the detonation of whatever they have on them will hit these guys. So if you are trying to surrender, and they have their weapons drawn and are telling you to stop, wouldn't you stop? Wouldn't you ensure that they knew you had no malicious intent? Dumb.....dumb, dumb, dumb. Now our men are in pieces because they had to take the moron out.

I am a normal and sane person, and I hate to see any innocent person hurt. But I do not expect our men to put themselves in danger because of someone's gender or age. Does anyone really believe that, should these people come over and start something on our homeland, that they would have any regard to whether I was a civilian or female? Hell no they wouldn't! And our guys are in a place where an empty Coke can on the side of the road in a ditch may be a bomb! Where the enemy may be driving alongside them in a car rigged to explode and kill them. There was a clip on You Tube showing our guys driving through Iraq in a humvee and they were in traffic. Instead of sitting in traffic, they nudged the bumper of each car that was in front of them, so the car would move and let them pass. The users were making comments about how asshole-ish this was, that it is no wonder that Americans are hated. My response to that is that I hope to hell they would NOT sit in traffic and wait for the asshole next to them to explode himself in his car. These hippie tree-hugging morons want the guys to be sitting ducks, awaiting their deaths.

So anyhow, I got pissed off in a serious way, as you can tell. I don't really get into the politics of any of it. All I need to know is that my people are over there, in harms way, and I am the girl who roots for the home team, so to speak. If the powers that be say to come home, they will, and if they say send more in, they will. The way I see it, my job, as an American is to say I do not care, but that I am in support of my brothers and sisters. But I do believe that all of this crap is putting even more spin on an issue that is already about to spiral out of control. And before people let themselves be influenced by the things being said, like how these kids were fooled, they need to stop and think about it. I am sure there are some legitimate complaints about this war and the treatment of our men and women that are returning from combat, but these idiotic non-issues are not them.

Sorry to be MIA for Awhile

Nothing is really going on here other than the monotonous drone of recruiters' mouths. A while back, we discovered that John will need a waiver to get back in. WAIVER...as in the potential deal-breaker variety. He has continued to lose weight and get into shape to the point that the I need to post an after picture to the after picture I posted before. Haha!

So anyhow, we never expected it to be this difficult for a Marine with an impeccable service record to get back into the military. We have had correspondence with US senators, congressman, and even our state's governor. Blah! I am tired of dealing with the military, and I am not even the one reenlisting.

In the meantime, I am getting more and more frightened by the minute. Just about the time they will tell John he is good to go, even more hell is going to unleash in the Middle East. It's bad enough with Iraq and Afghenistan. What in the blue hell is going on with Pakistan and Iran and Turkey??? I am still waiting for this to be renamed World War III. As my good friend Tony pointed out, there are already more nations involved in this than were involved in WWII. I was freaking out about the reenlistment issue when it was just Iraq and Afghanistan. Now I just wanna smack John on the back of the head and ask what he was even thinking!

Other than that, work is blah, my kid is still rotten to the core, and life is mundane. I will have more to report later, as John is meeting with a A Few Good Men today in Louisville, Kentucky to run through a PFT and figure out where we need to go from here.

PenPals

I have never done this in my life, but for some reason I felt completely compelled to do so. I was online, searching through countless sites that would give me a way to send care packages to the troops overseas. I don't know why, but I am sure that there are some who do not receive anything. Maybe he or she doesn't have a family to speak of, or maybe his or her family is not able to send anything. Whatever the reason, I want to help by showing my support. So here goes! I start with http://www.anymarine.com/ . No dice. There is something wrong and you can't send care packeages through them. So I searched for the Military Channel, and they had some neat links where you can leave little messages to the troops to show your support. Okay, so I spent a little bit of time doing this, then perusing the posts left by service men and women in return. Somehow, after surfing for an hour, I ended up on a site that is based in Ohio, that matches deployed Marines with pen pals here at home. I submitted my email address and request. Later that day, I received a message from the administrator confirming that I had indeed done this intentionally. The next thing I know, I have the addresses of two Lance Corporals, one deployed to Iraq and one to Afghanistan. So I wrote the letters. And I posted them. But what do you say to a young Marine in combat while you are in a cushy little coccoon, safe from the world? Well, I made small talk. But I also pictured John. John now and John when he was a 19 year old Marine serving his country, and what he would like to hear about, what he would miss from home. But most of all, I expressed my gratitude for their service. I hope I hear something back. They both had to submit their address in order to be matched up with someone, so who knows?!? But in the meantime, I feel like a lttle schoolgirl, anxious to see a letter from her pen pal. Haha!