0300?

I was awakened by two different things this morning, both of which are extremely aggravating. The first was this awful dream I had about John and the military. He had reenlisted, gone through the Warrior Transition Course, as planned, and was almost finished with AIT when he called me and said he had gotten orders to ship to Afghanistan. So I was going to have to go without seeing him for two whole years. But then I hear this shrill screaming outside our apartment. It was 0230 on a school night! I was worried it would wake Evan. It didn't seem to be a "help me" sort of scream, but rather a we-are-morons variety of scream. I waited for it to stop, and when it did not, I went outside to check. This may have been a mistake, seeing as I am blind as a bat when it is not dark or in the middle of the night when I am half asleep. But then I stumble my groggy arse out without glasses. I think I cussed out someone I did not know. I still have no idea who it was. I hope it was not a neighbor I am friendly with. I guess I won't be anymore if it was. So now I am sitting here, fully awake. I have been since 0300. It is now 0542, and I have already brewed coffee, had a cup and getting ready to fill 'er up a second time. I have managed to eat breakfast ( mmmmmm, Cheerios) and get my morning supply of nicotine. Lets' start the day!

More News

John's waiver was submitted, but we spoke to the recruiter yesterday about getting less specific documentation to ensure it will go through. She also said it will be "highly likely" that he will get the 64W MOS. Combat Medic. He really wanted to do x-ray, but she said it isn't likely with his prior service status. He is sort of disappointed about that, but other than that, things are looking pretty good for him right now. I am starting to adapt to the idea, but I am still having episodes where I am worried and very, very sad. We are starting to plan our lives around the idea that he will be active duty before long. The good thing is that 68W will be a significantly longer AIT than just infantry. This will be six weeks and 6 months, back to back.Much, much better than just a few weeks. It will give me a better chance to adapt to the lifestyle a little bit. And get used to him being away, though I do not expect it to be the same as it would be if he were in a combat zone for a year.

Code Moron

Losing Steam?

Lately John has been more and more difficult to motivate. No PT. Or very rarely. For the most part he sits on the sofa, watching movies. He is pretty much eating whatever he wants, and this worries me. I am by no means a shining example of physical fitness or proper nutrition for weight loss. But I am also not the one aiming for reentry to the military. I am afraid. I am afriad that he will e shipped to Iraq or Afghanistan, into a combat situation, and will not have the physical bearing to be able to keep up. He has gained a portion of the weight back that he had initially lost. I'm not quite sure how to get him motivated. Quite honestly, I should not have to. He should be doing this on his own.

Stop-Loss

With my husband pursuing entering the Army, we wanted to see this film. I didn't originally think this vey prudent. I am prone to tears as of late, and visual imagery of patriotism and/or war seem to compound this. The day is rapidly approaching when I will no longer be just an observer. This will ultimately impact my life grossly. Unable to obtain a babysitter, we watched the film online (is it illegal to watch or just to upload???) Just John and I cuddled up with the laptop. I must say the film would most definitely be enjoyable for someone not potentially affected by the actual policy. It was enjoyable if I detached myself from the current circumstances of my life. I cried a little, especially at the imagery of a military funeral. But is it because of the moving moment of the film, or just simply that military funerals have always done this to me, long before I married a veteran or that same veteran I married decided he wanted to reenlist? And okay, I must admit, the guys in the film were HOT. You got me there! But I have to say it: Stop-Loss pissed me off. At the risk of not sounding politically correct or in-tune with our men and women in uniform, I am sticking with that statement. It seems tawdry to go to a theater on a date and buy your popcorn and Sno-Caps and sit and watch the plight of our troops on the big screen like it is there for our amusement, first of all. Yet recently watching Lions for Lambs on dvd did not have this effect on me. It may be because L for L prompted healthy discussion and political debate here in my house. I felt bad that I had this reaction to Stop-loss, so I started doing some internet research on the policy. I was sort of hoping to find some obscure fact about the practice that I had not before become aware. I didn't. I believe that the film did bring some things to light that desperately needed to be. Primarily the PTSD that is plaguing our men as they return from war. And that stop loss is real. But in the film, all of the men returning are suffering from it. I know the statistics of PTSD are staggering, but not all-encompassing. And is the reaction of the average Soldier returning from Iraq to go AWOL??? The film made this look so easy. You just find someone to help you with fake IDs and cross a border. When the main character was standing at the Mexican border, I was hoping he did not cross it. Of course the film didn't load correctlly on the computer, and it stopped at this point, so I originally didn't get to see the real ending and was really pissed off. I just thought that would portray these men as cowardly, and send the wrong message to the troops. So what is my reaction to the actual practice of Stop-Loss? Yes, it sucks. But almost everyone realizes when you sign a contract to serve, you are actually committing to several years after your active service ends known as Inactive Ready Reserves. John was IRR when the war in Iraq started. During this time, you can be called back to active service. Its just a part of military service. Would it really be better to reach the end of an active service term and return to civilian life only to be called back again? Yet there isn't any controversy over troops being recalled to active duty from IRR. This leads me to a familiar topic: Read that contract you sign, people! You cannot expect to recieve money for college, pay, medical benefits, reenlistment/ enlistment bonuses, room and board, etc, without catches and loopholes. If you can live with the loopholes, like John can, sign the papers. If not, walk away. I read in an article while doing some online reading on the issue the following quote: "....In the event of war, my enlistment in the Armed Forces continues until sixth month after the war ends, unless my enlistment is ended sooner by the President of the United States..." Well, doesn't that about sum it up? We are in war. Two of them simultaneously, to be exact. If you signed the papers, you signed the papers. I'm sorry for them and their families. My family will be among them soon. But we are doing so with the knowledge that this could very well happen to John. Two National Guardsmen sued over this, and it was shot down. They said their recruiters deceived them by not telling them about stop-loss. I did not know a recruiter was responsible for knowing every tiny detail about everything related to the military. That is why the contract is printed. They should have read it more carefully. I am glad a judge shot their claim down. We are at war. We need troops, and the Army is under-performing in the task of getting new bodies to enlist. Its either stop-loss or a draft in order to keep the man-power needed to do the job. At least stop-loss is utilizing troops who are already committed and volunteered.

Slow Starter

I have had this book for ages. I have heard all of these reviews that the book was so awesome, but everytime I would sit down and attempt to read it, I would get bored with the first chapter, and never finish. Well, I finally forced myself to push through my initial boredom and finish the book. I only had to push so far when I fell into it. The author, Hosseini, truly has a gift, and the story was very moving. Up until I read the book, I had a vague idea about the turmoil that has been plaguing Afghanistan. After reading the story, I had this thirst for more information, and it prompted me to do some digging on Shi'a and Sunni muslims. And I am more against the Taliban than I was before. I used to just think "Yeah, they are the $%^& 's behind 9/11." And so, as an American, I wanted us to hit them hard. But now more than ever, I have a renewed sense of the purpose behind Operation Enduring Freedom. We truly should be there. I still am not sure about Iraq, but Afghanistan? Definitely. So if you have not read The Kite Runner, do so immediately. I rank it up there with The Namesake and The Time Traveler's Wife as one of the greatest books I have read.

Just a Bad Dream?

I had a nightmare as I was laying on the couch trying to take a nap to get ready for work tonight. I don't remember all of the details, but I remember John was being deployed to Afghanistan. He hugged me and walked away from me, stepping through these big double doors. Once inside, right over the threshold, he turned and made eye contact with me as the doors slid shut. I do remember tha panic I felt. I ran to the door, banging at the center where they closed, screaming for him to come back, to not leave me. I woke up crying. John hugged me and asked why I was crying. I told him. His response was that it is going to happen. When this didn't help any, he just smiled and held me tighter, saying "But I will be right back to you!" I am so scared for us.

Sorry to be MIA for Awhile

Nothing is really going on here other than the monotonous drone of recruiters' mouths. A while back, we discovered that John will need a waiver to get back in. WAIVER...as in the potential deal-breaker variety. He has continued to lose weight and get into shape to the point that the I need to post an after picture to the after picture I posted before. Haha!

So anyhow, we never expected it to be this difficult for a Marine with an impeccable service record to get back into the military. We have had correspondence with US senators, congressman, and even our state's governor. Blah! I am tired of dealing with the military, and I am not even the one reenlisting.

In the meantime, I am getting more and more frightened by the minute. Just about the time they will tell John he is good to go, even more hell is going to unleash in the Middle East. It's bad enough with Iraq and Afghenistan. What in the blue hell is going on with Pakistan and Iran and Turkey??? I am still waiting for this to be renamed World War III. As my good friend Tony pointed out, there are already more nations involved in this than were involved in WWII. I was freaking out about the reenlistment issue when it was just Iraq and Afghanistan. Now I just wanna smack John on the back of the head and ask what he was even thinking!

Other than that, work is blah, my kid is still rotten to the core, and life is mundane. I will have more to report later, as John is meeting with a A Few Good Men today in Louisville, Kentucky to run through a PFT and figure out where we need to go from here.

PenPals

I have never done this in my life, but for some reason I felt completely compelled to do so. I was online, searching through countless sites that would give me a way to send care packages to the troops overseas. I don't know why, but I am sure that there are some who do not receive anything. Maybe he or she doesn't have a family to speak of, or maybe his or her family is not able to send anything. Whatever the reason, I want to help by showing my support. So here goes! I start with http://www.anymarine.com/ . No dice. There is something wrong and you can't send care packeages through them. So I searched for the Military Channel, and they had some neat links where you can leave little messages to the troops to show your support. Okay, so I spent a little bit of time doing this, then perusing the posts left by service men and women in return. Somehow, after surfing for an hour, I ended up on a site that is based in Ohio, that matches deployed Marines with pen pals here at home. I submitted my email address and request. Later that day, I received a message from the administrator confirming that I had indeed done this intentionally. The next thing I know, I have the addresses of two Lance Corporals, one deployed to Iraq and one to Afghanistan. So I wrote the letters. And I posted them. But what do you say to a young Marine in combat while you are in a cushy little coccoon, safe from the world? Well, I made small talk. But I also pictured John. John now and John when he was a 19 year old Marine serving his country, and what he would like to hear about, what he would miss from home. But most of all, I expressed my gratitude for their service. I hope I hear something back. They both had to submit their address in order to be matched up with someone, so who knows?!? But in the meantime, I feel like a lttle schoolgirl, anxious to see a letter from her pen pal. Haha!